is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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