shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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