I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
