OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
