Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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