i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
