as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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