i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
