stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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