You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
