I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
