And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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