I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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