whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
