The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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