I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
