i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
