i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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