But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
did you just send me my own nude
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
