porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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