She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
