the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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