know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think people are normalizing furries
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He did a backflip because drugs
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
