sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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