I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
