i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
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No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize