best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
