Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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