I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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