I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
