Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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