I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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