i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
