Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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