Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
