you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
