We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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