I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
