apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize