Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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