And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize