The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
