Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
