so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
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