"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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