Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
