Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
