Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
