Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
