It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
