Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
