Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
