At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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