I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
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We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
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No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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