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Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
