you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
