I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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