Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
