i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize