I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
